Intercepted PM Demonstrates Hobbyist’s Lack of Confidence – Is This The Norm?

Do you remember me? In the past I was not completely honest with you. I had talked to you about an appointment but never followed through. The truth is I was in a secret relationship with a past SP and had agreed with her I would not see anyone else. I was so tempted to see you but at the last minute didn’t want to screw up my deal with her. Well we have AGREED to go out separate ways. She went back to a previous sugar daddy that supports her at a very high level. It is a deal that she cannot turn down and I don’t like it but it is best for her and her family. I like her too much to not let her do what is right for her future.

So, I am back on the look out for a good time, and I would like to see you finally. Will you still see me?”


A member of made a good catch by copying this message that was intended as a PM but was posted  briefly to an availability thread by provider “Loveinit.” He thought it was interesting and so do I. The member who posted it lists his age as 66 – old enough to have developed at least a modicum of self confidence. But instead, he’s chasing after hookers as if they were girlfriends and making himself appear foolish in the process.

I’ve been provided with messages like this before from various providers that I know. And, the more I see this kind of “pussified” communication from hobbyist to provider the more I start to wonder if all hobbyists lack the confidence necessary to have a real relationship with a women that they’re not paying by the hour. Maybe the old adage that hobbyists pay because they *have* to is true – at least for many of them.

I’m the first to dismiss the PUA (Pick Up Artist) subculture. Things like “negs” and “funny cocky” are ridiculous. But, the underlying theme of this line of thought – confidence – is useful and it’s right on as a mantra to live by. There’s nothing wrong with being polite and charming as long as you do it in a confident manner. But being clinging and behaving like a servile cur is a sure way to get separated from you rmoney almost instantly with no return on the investment.

I’ve heard some of the “Board Lore”  about guys who’ve been sucked into turning over a significant amount of cash and assets to a beguiling provider. I thought this was a minority of hobbyists. But, posts like the message above seem to indicate that this is the rule rather than the exception. Does anyone have stories about hobbyists who’ve succumbed to this lack of confidence problem and ended up poorer in the process?

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3 thoughts on “Intercepted PM Demonstrates Hobbyist’s Lack of Confidence – Is This The Norm?

  1. Nono123 says:

    Sid, I can say I was told by my favorite sp that I was hers and there were time when I tried to see other sp and would be told I can’t see you. Or they would book the app and when I call a few hours out they wouldn’t answer or I wouldn’t hear back for days from them , just to be told they ran into problem when I did hear back. So, I can say… I can believe a sp Would tell a John that they are a private thing and should not talk about it on the boards or to anyone. Looking back, I wonder if it was to play the game or were they trying to get away from a abusive fuck.? Oh, to wonder such things is to try and alike to figuring out the ant-matter of the starship Enterprise . I don’t have the mind for it.

  2. Dr Nutt says:

    Tough break for the guy that posted that, but he’s not alone. There’s plenty of guys in the scene that lose it over a piece of pussy and plenty of predators to take their money. These are the guys that post the cautionary tale after two years of bank account draining. Hopefully, he enjoys the ride at least.

  3. Jay Cross says:

    I don’t think men who pay us have a problem with confidence or trouble finding women. Internet dating has made it possible to meet your matches even if you are the most undesired candidate.

    I think men pay us because it’s easier to get what they want when they need it. I certainly have said “oh i see why he needs to hire an escort” but that’s not my general assumption of all men who hobby.

    Some are really hopeless while others pay because they WANT to.

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